Insomnia and Boredom

Lately, I've been irritable. I can't sleep right now, so I'm up here composing this blog. It seems that lately I've been pretty flat. Bunch of must-dos and not wanting to do anything. There are things that I could do to get rid of my boredom, but I can't seem to get the motivation to do them. I'm restless. Excess energy and no where to put it. I've been moody all day. Wanting to be around people and then wanting them to get the hell out of my way while I'm running. Sometimes it doesn't make sense. People really do bother me and a lot of times I feel like I don't know why I was put here. And a lot of times, I find myself angry at others. Right now, I'm angry at Mark for not calling me. I'm angry about men coming in and out of my life. I don't want to be close to them. I get to where I just want to do my job and go home. I feel used. Yeah, they are paying me, but I never see them again. They never call me back. In a regular business, they would. I'm wondering when I'm going to run out of people who only want to see me once. I want to punch them out for not thinking of me enough. Then, I can't stand people like Mark who just want to get close to me, because nobody else wants to hear them whine about their stupid problems. I'm so sick of people, but, unfortunately, I need their money and I need a job. I wish I was wealthy or would win the lottery so that I wouldn't have to deal with anyone. I can travel as much as I wanted to and really enjoy life. I could go to nice clubs, dress the way I wanted to and only deal with people when I felt like it on my own terms instead of people dependent on their stupid asses.