I did it again. I blew off another client. What happened was that I told him that I'm not feeling well. It's not a lie. I am going through a terrible depression and can't wait until I snap out of it. Actually, I can't wait until my pills come in the mail, because that will help to stabilize me so that I don't have these serious mood swings. For now, I'm going to clean the house because another client decided he wasn't going to come by either. I didn't blow him off, he just never showed. I need the money really bad and need to connect with work and other people. I really can't afford to do this. I basically laid in bed until about 2 even though I had some good coffee that woke me up this morning.

Thank God I have somebody like Doug in my corner. We met on match.com. We've been dating on and off since the beginning of October. We are taking it to the next level by going to Mammoth together which is a trip I originally planned alone. My head is not straight though, and I can't deal with the idea of getting stuck on the road without chains to go up to Mammoth and having to turn back if I can't get up there. I only have a Honda civic, and he has an all wheel drive. He knows about the chain thing and how to do it. I'm not really in love with him, but he's a great friend. We are fooling around together, and I stayed at his house last night. I just don't know where it's going to go. If there is a chance that I could fall in love again, I want to take that chance.